Yesterday, I was slammed with activities and I thought to get a breather. I scrolled through WhatsApp and there, on an alumni WhatsApp group, I learnt of the passing of our coursemate.
It must have been Kayode Okikelu's frame I had seen last on Channels TV when lecture hall memories replayed in quick succession; She had passed the attendance sheet to me once or twice, I pictured her charming smile.
It had to be a joke but again messages doubled on the platform confirming the sad reality.
On my way home , I noticed how everything seemed normal, the hustling hawkers, the impatient drivers still cursing in traffic. No, the world didn't stop!
I have read a couple of posts and what gets my attention is how alot of people conclude individuals risk life and limb in unions characterized by pain for fears of ".. what people will say, " wrong!
Most times, away from opinions, financial constraints or staying a "Mrs." what stops people from leaving unhealthy places sometimes, is more of an internal fight;
1. A fight to hang in one more day with hopes that our goodwill or pure intentions will compel repentance.
2. A fight to watch things work, to get the fulfilment that we are capable of holding it all together.
3. A fight that exists because we can't imagine life away from familiar places.
Sometimes it's an internal fight and not the popular notions.
This got me thinking of what we must do right and the Holy Spirit gave me an insight again on the need for churches to strengthen welfare systems and create HEALING HOMES (A temporary accomodation for men or women to get through difficult situations such as this) where therapy is made accessible as they learn to embrace the realities that have surfaced.
HEALING FUNDS (access to funds to gain skillsl or establish businesses) and where such persons can be gainfully employed in the Church ,by all means employ them.
There are different doctrines which would go hard against these solutions but if those who believe can get to work we can see a remarkable level of change.
AS INDIVIDUALS WE MUST LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER:
1. By doing away with a judgemental approach towards these sour experiences
2. Also, with the establishment of Healing Homes, funds, some who have been instructed to strain associations will remain in harms way. We owe them that one phone call to the necessary authorities or Orgarnizations when we genuinely sense mischief or see less of them.
3.We must tell ourselves the truth, we must pick the courage when prevailing circumstances clearly puts out lives at risk. There is no masculinity about danger, remember that .
4. As parents, we must realize that while we crave marital stability for our children we owe them first preservation in the face of danger.
I'm an advocate for good marriages because this is the order intended by God, yet amongst other things God has engraced me with the revelation of the validity of self-preservation.
When I come across similar posts on the internet, I feel sad and after a while, I carry on but I have not had the peace to stay still and on that journey home, I heard God ask me ”will you keep quiet through this?" and it was a resounding "No." Until the end of time, by the grace of God, I will tell these truths as He leads me.
May God comfort the hurting families who have had to go through similar experiences. Amen.
Merit Gogo-fyneface is a Lawyer, Creative Writer, Founder Sarima City and Editor-in-chief, Sarima Magazine.
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